He acts like it's nothing.

Everytime he yells,
Everytime he punches a wall,
Everytime he loses control,
and aims for me,
Everytime he calls me a dissapointment,
Everytime he calls me names,
I'm suppose to be ok with it.
I'm suppose to be molded into his perfect child.
but I'll never fit.
I'll never belong in this family.
Everyday it becomes clearer and clearer.
I never fit.
I see 'normal' families that fight, but at the end of the day, sit at the dinner table and talk about their days.
Or just laugh together.
I've never had that. I've always been the type of person that goes straight to my room.
Sit in there for hours. Block out the world.
I've always dreaded hearing a knock on my door.
That knock means I have to pull myself together enough to be yelled at, or pushed around.
to be called fag, or bitch.
It always ends the same.
Me slamming my door.
Him breaking it down and grabbing me.
All I think about is how powerless I feel.
How strong he is compared to me.
How I can't fight back.
It's part of my daily routiene.