Is being ok, too much to ask?

Sadness.
That's all I ever feel.
Isn't there more to life?
People say, look at all the happiness.
Ignore the bad and just remember the good.
Is there good?
I sure can't find it.
Of course there's the better times.
Where I'm not at my edge.
Not quite at the point to jump.
But I wouldn't call that 'the good'.
The best thing in the world could happen to me.
and not even make me happy.
Not even affect me in a good way.
In fact, the best thing in the world did happen to me.
So why am I still stuck with sadness?
While everyone else gets happy over the smallest of things.
Why am I stuck with the bad?
Meeting my hero just made me more alive.
More able to feel things.
Giving me more room,
 for sadness to fill me up.
I feel it creeping up on me again.
I've been in the better part of sadness for too long.
The edge is near.
I see it coming.
I can't stop it this time.
I'll be gone.